Momma’s Destination Birthday Party in Las Vegas: Day 3

My mom and I both sleep in, giving our bodies time to heal our fresh ink.

She texts me that she’s going to take a bath in her soaking tub, and we plan to meet after. Unfortunately her bath is cut short by a call from her sister that my grandpa has fallen and broke his hip. He’s fortunately alright, but that puts a damper on the final day. On my way to the room, I find a discarded White Claw box in the hall, so I crack one.

Not a huge fan of the Claw, but free is free.

My mom and I check out at the last possible minute (protip: ALWAYS ask if they have complimentary late checkout to score an extra hour) and drop our bags at the bell desk, which is quite crowded, and head to the Strip for our last few hours.

A $0 room at the Cosmopolitan is almost as beautiful as the view from the room.


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Momma’s Destination Birthday Party in Las Vegas: Day 1

The genesis of this trip is simultaneously wholesome… and as degenerate as usual.

It all started with an offer for two comp nights at the Cosmopolitan, as well as a free companion room, that expired at the end of April 2021. (Loyal readers will know this stems from the generosity of my friend Costas, who springs for a fountain view terrace for my birthday and lets me put the points on my card).

Naturally, being the degenerate I am, I’ve got the itch to go to Vegas, but also the wherewithal to know we’re still in the midst of a pandemic and that I *probably* shouldn’t go. So I call my mom — who in addition to being my voice of reason, is also a nurse — to talk me down from the Vegas ledge.

And let’s just say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. After explaining the situation, my mom goes “Well, you wear a mask and are safe. And you live alone and work from home, so it’s low risk. I say you go.” As my mind begins to swim with the possibilities of my first Vegas trip since attending the reopening in June, she delivers coup de grace to any semblance of pandemic responsibility with the magic words “if you can’t find anyone to go with you, my birthday is in April and I’d go [since I’m fully vaccinated since January].”


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#SoberVegas: The Prologue (feat. Patrick Hardin)

Much to my surprise, I found out recently that people actually read my Degenerate Diaries when Patrick Hardin (@TheGamesOfPatrick) slid into my DMs and asked if I’d be open to a guest contributor.

Considering that I’d pretty much forgotten that I run this blog amidst my chronic COVID-induced Las Vegas withdrawal pains, the obvious question (just as when I ask myself anything to do with my dignity) was “what’ve I got to lose?” (Spoiler alert: the answer to both is a resounding “nothing”).

Adding Patrick’s experiences to the Degenerate Diaries was a no-brainer. I’ve always been a proponent of creating the Vegas experience that you want. So what better way to promote that than to feature Patrick’s stories of Sober Vegas?

What will follow in Patrick’s guest degen pieces is sure to be a lot different than my usual Vegas experience, yet it will be no less amazing. I hope that both sober and drunk readers alike will enjoy the new perspective and following along with Patrick’s trip.

Without further ado, here’s Sober Vegas through Patrick’s words (with the exception of the captions on this post, because Patrick is a sucker and didn’t include any).


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January 15, 2019: Day 5 of the of the 5th Annual Destination Birthday Party in Las Vegas

It’s no secret that the last day in Vegas sucks.

Not only are you often starting to feel the cumulative effects of four days of sleep deprivation and binge drinking, but you also have to come to terms with the fact that your vacation in (literal) Paradise is coming to an end, and it’s almost time to return to the daily grind of work and life’s bullshit.

So what better way to simultaneously drown your sorrows/celebrate than with a bottomless mimosa brunch?

What could possibly go wrong?


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